After all the continuing hoopla about my company's name . . . . .
"Rent-a-Gent" Company
Garland, TX
United States
Mr
My TOOoo many Services
Here is a list of services that I've previously provided to some of the people that have requested not only my help, but also my expertise as the Solution Specialist. And yes, this list is growing each and every day......
.... walk your dogs
.... pick up dog poop from the back yard
.... remove the old window tinting from your
1979 Ford Ranchero
.... rotate your car's tires
.... find the tire with the "blem" in it
.... take down the Christmas lights from the house
.... be your "Human Potential Specialist"
.... conduct light surgery on your dog
.... do the voice-over for your next production or reading
.... visit and converse with your elderly parent at the
nursing home where they now are living
.... bring you five gallons of gasoline now that you've run
out & are stuck on the side of either Central Expressway,
LBJ, or I-30
.... wash & wax your automobile or motorcycle
.... replace the propeller on your Chris Craft
.... take your car to have its' Texas State inspection done
.... fix the emission on your car so that it DOES pass
.... teach your child Portuguese
.... break the "Bad News" to him (or her) for you
.... teach your child "English", rather than "American"
.... teach your child to play the piano
.... teach you to surf the gnarly curls at Boicucango, SA
.... teach you to actually read music, not just play an
instrument
.... put together those "some assembly required " gifts
or items you just bought
.... assemble your new elliptical glider
.... remove the old carpeting from throughout your house
.... provide courier service for just about anything you've got
.... grocery shop for you
.... change out the fuel pump on your2000 Olds Bravada
.... show up at court on your behalf
.... post your bills for you because no one has ever taught
you how
.... teach you to successfully operate an EBAY business
.... advise you of " The Law ". I used to watch a lot of Judge Judy
.... be the "official photographer" at you next function
.... replace the underwater light bulb in your pool or hot tub
.... pick up your medication for you at CVS
.... do your laundry & also put it up
.... clip your dog's toe nails
.... assemble an "entourage" for YOU during your next
outting
.... determine if your home is secure enough by Dallas County standards as set forth by our Police Department
.... wash your dog ( no more cats PLEASE )
.... drive you to your "Doctor's Appointment"
.... be your date for that up coming office party or special
function . . . (ladies are $25.00 per hour) (guys are $125.00 per hour)
.... pick up your child at his school when you can't
.... teach you to pass your "road test " the first time
.... teach you how to PROPERLY operate a motorcycle
.... teach you or your child to properly operate a
manual stick car
.... take your child "kite flying " at Dalrock Park
.... flat'n his (or her) tires for you. Legally, of-course!
.... teach you about which wine goes with which
meal AND most importantly, why
.... drive you to that Jazzercise class you want to join
.... sit on the sidelines at your new Jazzercise class
& shout out encouraging words to you
.... install an electric "Dog Fence" so Fido can no longer leave
.... apply new Petex to your down-hill skis
.... teach you to snow ski (head ski instuctor for Oshman's Sporting Goods in 1982 )
.... pack your luggage so that it passes TSA requirement
.... draw up your itinerary and book your hotel
.... be your designated driver to events at the new
"COWBOY'S Stadium" in Arlington, Texas
.... find you the best price on a flight to Caraguatatuba, Brasil
.... install a new spark plug, oil, air filter & blade
onto your old lawn mower
.... fix your vacuum cleaner
.... teach you how to buy stock in electronic companies
.... give you a 25% discount on a room in a fantastic hotel
on the island of Ilha Bela, off the coast
of San Sebastiao, Brasil, S.A.
.... replace the burned out fuse in your microwave
.... pick up your new lawn mower at Home Depot
.... move you from one apartment to another
.... introduce you to the hiring manager of PetroBras Oil
in South America
.... teach & convince you as to why you should feed your
"Congo" pellets verses strictly seeds
.... tend bar at your next party
.... TEACH ENGLISH TO YOUR MOTHER
.... teach your dog basic good behavior around the house
.... teach you how to party like it's 1999 . . . STILL
.... repo your car back from her
.... advise you on sex (should you ever decide to "change")
.... be your mystery shopper
.... teach you what it takes to become the Dallas Sidekick's
official mascot. (one of the best full time jobs I've ever had)
.... clip your Amazon's wings & nails
.... pose nude for you at your next art class
(some classes DO require that you bring your own model)
.... sell you my award winning chili recipe
.... be a judge at your next Chili Cook-Off (24 yrs. of experience)
.... change the oil & filter on your automobile while
you're at work
.... teach you to whistle. (Trust me, a person has paid mefor this !)
.... remove the rear wheel from your motorcycle to
fix the flat
.... sell you my world renowned recipe entitled
"Butch Rene's Infamous Cajun popcorn ". It's a family secret.
.... teach you to juggle tennis balls
.... teach you to juggle your BILLS
.... help you get onto "Survivor"
.... teach you to say "No " to your child, and later have them
come back to you and THANK YOU FOR IT
.... show you which intersections in Dallas County are the best
(and safest) for standing at while begging for money or a JOB
.... repair your bicycle, regardless of its' value
.... pop out that large dent on the side of your car
.... provide the name & number of a private music teacher
with 32 years of teaching experience in Garland, Texas
.... determine which kind of K9 is best for you and
your family (physcological testing(s) will be administered)
.... hem your pants
.... compose an advertising campaign just for you or your
company
.... convert your long pants to shorts
.... replace the battery in your watch
.... replace the battery in your car
.... replace the battery on your motorized wheel-chair
.... program your VCR (yes, I am that old )
.... balance your check book
.... provide a secret phone number to a great "Bookie "
.... teach you why you shouldn't "hot tub " if you're trying
to get her pregnant
.... teach you proper etiquette while visiting a nudistcamp (personally, I failed miserably my first time)
.... mow your lawn
.... skim your pool
.... teach you how NOT to get her pregnant by "hot tubbing"
... de-grease your hot tub AFTER that "special " party
.... sell you my killer recipe for "Brasilian Red Beans & Rice "
.... trim your bangs
.... SHAVE your head in the comfort of your own home
.... explain to you why you should purchase the
Smith & Wesson over the Glock
.... help you determine whether you're a Revolver person or an Automatic person
.... steam clean the carpets in your home or office
.... give you a military hair cut that even your Gunny will adore
.... set-up and help you conduct your next garage sale
.... deliver your car to its' new owner after you've sold it
.... sell those "special", no longer needed items of yours
on Ebay for only a 35% commission
.... broker the sale of your car and legally finalize the deal
.... determine why your vehicle is not running properly
.... supply you the name & number of the best Tx. Certified
Personal Trainer/Nutritionalist in DFW
.... determine what your vehicle is truly worth
.... COLLECT ANY MONIES OR DEBTS YOU INSIST YOU ARE DUE
.... drive your car or motorcycle to that new home
you purchased up there in Michigan
.... shave your dog and then bathe him
.... do your "exercising " for you
.... build you a new dog house
.... remove that ceiling fan that's wobbling all over
.... install a new ceiling fan
.... strip your "old" house of the things you now want installed at your "new" house. Why let the bank get it all? RIGHT?
.... repair that water leak in the bathroom tub
.... replace your electric hot water heater
.... install your new garage door opener
.... wash your second floor windows (not in DEC., PLEASE)
(for an extra $7.95 per hour I'll do it in my SPEEDO )
.... fix the water leak in your outside faucet
.... install the new A/C window unit
.... install the new storm door in your front entrance
.... install that new cooktop in the kitchen
.... hang all those old paintings & photos onto your walls
.... install a new screen door out back
.... RE-screen your old screens that have holes in them
.... install a motion detecting light over your garage door
.... wire for that new ceiling fan you want installed
.... thoroughly clean your swimming pools' filtering system
.... install a new gas water heater
.... install a new coil spring onto your garage doors,
replacing the old, broken ones
.... diagnos your car's ECM to find out why the
"Check Eng." light is on & now won't pass inspection
.... remove & dispose of the old carpet in the living room
.... thoroughly clean & RE-balance your ceiling fans
.... clean & properly detail your BMW motorcycle
.... repair the gate & fence out back
.... ORGANIZE YOUR GARAGE FOR YOU
(perfect idea now that you've taken delivery of your new Mercedes Benz)
.... house-sit for you while you're in Key West, Florida
.... clean out your "rental" house so that it's ready to release
.... I will "step in " and be your "Daddy " if you are in
need of one. (* please think about this one America )
.... pick up your car at the mechanic shop & actually verify
that the job was done correctly
.... "give you away" at your upcoming wedding.
(Since your Father now refuses to! )
.... teach you to diaper your new-born
..... be the one at the gate to pick you up when you are
released from ANY of the local prisons (cash only on this one)
.... take your old & no longer wanted dog to the A.S.P.C.A.
for you. Please note: "I DO CATS FOR FREE"
.... take your pet to the vet to be euthanized because "you just can't ".
(no more dogs for YOU Tammie McDonald of Dallas, 75214) . . . HA !!!
.... take your dog to White Rock Lake Dog Park with me
while I network with other dog lovers
.... show the house you are "trying to sell " but can't because
you're ALREADY up there in Michigan
.... sell your house
.... sell your kids
.... iron your laundry
.... be your courier for that special document or "D" sized draft
.... be your "Transporter", and NO I will not ask any questions
.... cater food & drinks for your next meeting or party
....tell you what type of tree you should plant in your
backyard
....chauffeur you to DFW or DAL Airports
.... pick you up at DFW or DAL and return you safely home
.... use your car to take you to DFW & then pick you up at the airport so that your vehicle is left safely at your home
.... provide valet service during your next party or function
.... chauffeur you around whenever you need me to
(thank you Ms. Bush) (thank you Ms. Friesen) (thank you James Wright)
.... shop for a special gift for her (or him)
.... tune-up your bicycle for Summer riding
.... install linoleum in your kitchen
.... plant new flowers out front of your home
.... install a new mailbox for you
.... caulk your bath tub
.... clean out your gutters so that they actually work properly
.... paint the new baby's bedroom
.... re-organize your garage & haul off what is not needed.
Then bring you back a receipt for it so you can write it off on this years tax return.
.... teach your Cockatoo not to bite or scream ($300.00 per hour)
.... transport your bird's large cage to the carwash for
a decent high powered cleaning
.... operate the cameras for you and your husband should
the both of you ever find yourselves in need of intimate
photos that you would like to place on the Web
....pick up that new, HUGE grill you just bought at Lowe's
.... clean your pool or hot tub
.... install your new LCD or PLASMA screen onto the WALL
.... empty out your cat's LITTER BOX (hard to believe, I know)
.... change your "flat tire" and repair the leak
.... render assistance with that pesky neighbor (wink, wink)
(Mr. & Mrs. Sapinski - If your "problem" persists, recontact me. As promised, I guarantee my results)
.... drive out to get you when you're too drunk to drive
home safely & LEGALLY. Then, after I've tucked you
in, I'll go back and safely retrieve your car too.
(consider how much you will save here on just this one service alone )
.... provide permanent assistance with your neighbor's
constantly barking dog (wink, wink, wink)
.... patch the hole in the sheetrock just behind that door
.... install that new "doggie door"
.... install your new toilet
.... install that new faucet
.... install a new electrical wall outlet
.... put up those new Venetian blinds
.... assemble your daughters' NEW rocking horse
.... hang the new "OPEN" sign at your new business
.... accompany you and your significant other to Europe as
your personal driver & "assistant" along the entire way
(thank you SO MUCH Wanjira & Marcelo)
.... swap out the old dead bolt for a better new one
.... transport your new mattress & box spring to your home
.... help moving the furniture around the house
.... install all new curtains & drapes
.... drive the chase vehicle at your next 5K
.... and finally, the one that I do the most of, . . . . . . . .
ASSEMBLE YOUR IKEA FURNITURE ! ! !
Doans Pills. OFFICIAL supplier to Mr. Scooter
Mr. Scooter:
SOLUTION SPECIALIST.
Copyright 1993. All rights reserved.
Rent - a - Gent Company
* Business name Trade Marked March 12, 1992 *
"Rent-a-Gent" Company
Garland, TX
United States
Mr
